


Ship-Shape

by Raindropsonwhiskers



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Episode: s11e02 The Ghost Monument, F/F, Fluff, I'm tagging Idris but like not really, Kissing, Other, confusing tense usage, let the Doctor call the TARDIS pet names mr Chibnall, references to The Doctor's Wife, references to The Scream of the Shalka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27532939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raindropsonwhiskers/pseuds/Raindropsonwhiskers
Summary: An alternate ending to The Ghost Monument, where the Doctor opens the TARDIS doors and gets a rather enthusiastic greeting
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Doctor's TARDIS
Comments: 14
Kudos: 56





	Ship-Shape

**Author's Note:**

> I may be Thoschei trash but my true OTP is the Doctor/the TARDIS and I think it is a crime that we have not seen more of the Doctor being affectionate with her ship under Chibnall's run. Someone let this disaster hug her ship. Please.  
> Anyways enjoy this shameless fluffy nonsense

The Doctor's fairly sure she's just been tackled. Her back is on the hard, gritty dirt of Desolation, all the air's been pushed out of her, and there's someone on top of her. And, once she gets past the faint ringing in her ears, she can hear her compan- no, not companions, just three people she's helping get back home - shouting.

The sequence of events that led to this is a bit fuzzy. Angstrom and Epzo had disappeared, gone to receive their prize, and she'd been sure that that was it; they were going to die here, slowly and painfully and starving. Then, like a miracle, like the universe finally giving her a chance after everything that it had done to her, her TARDIS had materialized. And she'd pressed her hands to that comforting blue wood, and tried not to let the tears choking her throat show in her voice as she apologized for losing her key, and the door had creaked open, and then…

Well, somehow in between that moment and now, she'd ended up like this. She tries to sit up, and is promptly reminded that someone is sitting on her. The Doctor blinks.

"Hello," the someone says, beaming. "Oh, I think I got it right that time! It is hello, isn't it? Not one of the other ones? I know I will have trouble with that. Had. Did have? You already did it, so I must have done it already too. Ooh, linear time is so wonderfully tingly like this!"

The Doctor blinks again, taking in the messy auburn curls and the golden eyes and the blue clothing. It takes her a moment to put the pieces together, but when she does, her hearts _soar._ If she weren't already in love, she would be now.

"How did you get a body?" she asks, wide eyed and adoring. "Is it yours, or-"

Another bright smile. "I made it! You always make such a mess when you regenerate, and I will get - wait, that's not the right one - _got_ bored redecorating, so I made myself a body. Do you like it?"

"Yeah," she breathes. "Yeah, I really do."

"Uh, Doctor? Who is that?"

Ryan's voice shatters the moment, and the Doctor reluctantly tears her eyes away from the wonderful, beautiful being currently on her.

"She's the TARDIS!" the Doctor says. "My ship. That box. Except she's also got a proper body now." She looks back up at the TARDIS. "How are you managing that? Splitting your consciousness, one bit in here and the rest still in there, so it won't overwhelm the storage?"

"Yes. Do you still like kissing?" The nonsequitur is accompanied by a tilt of the TARDIS' head, causing curls to fall in front of her eyes. "You will. Did. Do. Before the War, and after it, too, but not when you were after - no, before this body. I don't know if you do now."

The Doctor laughs. "Me neither. Haven't tried it yet this time."

"Oh, wonderful!"

And with that, she leans down and presses her lips to the Doctor's. It takes a moment for both of them to figure out the right way to go about it without noses or teeth getting in the way, and the Doctor is a little grateful that the TARDIS seems to be less enthusiastic about biting than she was the last time this had happened. Eventually, though, she does need to breathe again, so the Doctor reluctantly pushes at the TARDIS' shoulders until she pulls away.

"You like it," she announces; not a question, but a statement.

"Think I do, yeah," the Doctor agrees, grinning up at her.

The TARDIS nods. "Me too. Your humans are staring."

Sure enough, when the Doctor looks over, all three definitely-not-companions are wide eyed and somewhat flustered. She tries an awkward smile and wave, which doesn't seem to help matters.

"Hello!" the TARDIS says brightly. "Hello, hello, hello humans! Would you like to go inside me?"

Graham blanches. "What?"

"Me! The box. I'm the box, the box is me, but this me is just human-shaped. My Thief prefers human-shaped things, most of the time. Especially for kissing."

" _What?_ " Yaz says.

"So!" the Doctor squeaks, sitting up and forcing the TARDIS to go from perching on her torso to sitting on her lap. "In the box. Sounds like a brilliant plan. Everyone get in the box. We'll be right there!"

Still giving her weird looks, the three humans step inside the TARDIS. The box-shaped TARDIS.

"There's got to be a better way to refer to you and, well, _you,_ " the Doctor muses. "Otherwise it's going to get pretty confusing."

The TARDIS tilts her head, like she doesn't understand. Which, the Doctor supposes, she wouldn't; to herself, she's just the TARDIS, the Doctor has always been her Thief, and even when they change shape, that's never changed.

"For the humans," she adds.

Realization dawns, and the TARDIS nods. "They're so odd about names. It's… what's the word? Amusing? No, no, emotion a little to the left… Endearing! It's endearing! I'll like these ones in particular, I think. They were nice. _Are_ nice." She frowns, put out. "How _do_ you keep track of all these tenses?"

Smiling, the Doctor says, "Practice."

"I've never had to _practice_ things," the TARDIS says, though she doesn't sound upset about it. "Oh, this was so much fun!"

" _Is_ so much fun," corrects the Doctor, gently. "It's happening now, dear."

"Is it? That's exciting."

One of the TARDIS' hands settles in the Doctor's hair, and the other traces the line of her cheekbone. She leans in, golden eyes wide and curious, until their noses are nearly touching.

"I think I'd like to do some more kissing," she informs the Doctor.

Just as enthusiastically as before, their lips meet. The Doctor curls a hand into the TARDIS' hair, toying with the soft strands as she melts into the touch. As much as she doesn't like physical contact this time, so far as she's figured out, this feels _wonderful._ She can trust the TARDIS completely, and it's so easy to forget her concerns and lose herself in this, in the hungry press of lips and tongue, in the beat of two artificial hearts beneath her touch as her other hand rests on the TARDIS' chest.

When they finally separate again, she says, "So, how does this body work? Is it an android?"

"Mostly. You never do get rid of that old body you made for the Master, you know - well, that bit of the timeline's quite wibbly-wobbly, I can't recall if it's happened for you. I borrowed some bits." The TARDIS shrugs. Then she pecks the Doctor on the nose and leans back, smiling. "Why don't I go by Idris? It's not mine, but I think I like it."

Unprepared for the sudden change in topics and mood, the Doctor takes a second to process the question. "I… Sure. Whatever you want."

Idris nods once, as if confirming it, then stands. She reaches down and pulls the Doctor up to her feet, and doesn't let go of her hand once she's standing. The Doctor doesn't think she minds.

"One of them has pulled the materialization lever," Idris announces, then shakes her head. "No, wait, is going to. We should probably stop that, I don't think I should be that far away from me."

"Ooh, yeah, that's not good," the Doctor mutters. She's almost to the door when something Idris had said finally hits her. "Wait, you said you like these three. Do they… do they stay?"

Idris looks back at her, the picture of innocence. "I don't know what you mean."

The Doctor narrows her eyes, seeing right through the lie, but doesn't press the matter. Arguing with the TARDIS never ends well, in her experience; primarily because the ship tends to just ignore her and do whatever she wants. Somehow, she doubts this will be any different.

Her breath catches in her throat when she sees the inside of the TARDIS for the first time. The small glimpse she'd caught before getting tackled by Idris doesn't hold a candle to the splendor of the full sight. Pillars of amber crystal cast warm light over the whole room, shining off the metal tessellations that cover the walls. It's the most wonderful thing she's ever seen.

"Beautiful," she breathes. "Oh, this is beautiful."

"I thought you'd like it." Idris smiles and squeezes her hand.

"So, let me get this straight," says Graham, and the Doctor abruptly remembers that the three humans are there too. "This is your ship, and _she's_ also your ship?"

"Yes," says Idris. She sounds proud, almost.

The Doctor makes a wiggly hand gesture. "Sort of. She's like… a genius loci."

"What's that?" Ryan asks.

"Ancient Roman spirits that personify a location," the Doctor explains. "Except the TARDIS isn't really a _location,_ more of a sentient liminal space, really, but the point still stands."

Idris gestures at the whole of the console room. "All of this is me, but I can put some of me into this body."

"And the, uh, kissing?" asks Yaz, though she looks like she wishes she hadn't as soon as she does, blushing slightly.

"Er," says the Doctor, not quite sure how to explain the intricacies of a Time Lord-TARDIS bond without scaring them off.

"Well, I did steal her," Idris says. "And she steals me, and we will steal each other. Oh, English is so much fun!"

All three humans still look somewhat confused, but don't ask any more questions.

"Anyways!" The Doctor steps up to the console, running her hands lovingly over the warm metal that thrums with life at her presence. "Who's ready to get back to Earth?"

From the tiny noise of amusement Idris quickly muffles, she has a sneaky feeling that her first attempt or seven won't end anywhere near Earth. But the Doctor doesn't really think she's going to mind.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, leave a kudos and/or a comment!


End file.
